Sorority




Unbeknownst to you, I was a part of two sororities that shall remain nameless.

When I first started studying in Ottawa, I wanted to fit in. Starting off in Political Science classes with around 75 students was overbearing and made it hard for me to make friends.

I went to the quad during Frosh Week, and saw Fraternities and Sororities tabled around. I had an image of wanting to be in one particular sorority that I had researched before coming to Ottawa. I rushed it (attended activities and informal gatherings to get to know the sisters). I was then invited to the Pref Party (this is where sisters get to know if you will be a good fit). I wasn’t able to attend and didn’t get in. I actually rushed for them twice. I did not get in the second time either because it was my mother’s birthday and I was celebrating it with my family in Montreal. The sisters told me it didn’t matter if I couldn’t attend the Pref Party. I was later told that the sisters took the decision of who got in right after the Pref Party. This is probably a big reason why I didn’t get in.


Meanwhile, I made two friends. They weren’t always available. I wanted to be a part of something like I had been in Cégep (University Prep? We have a different schooling system in Québec) and being in a Sorority seemed like a good idea. 

After not getting in the first Sorority, I rushed for an International Sorority. Their philosophy and the way they perceived sisterhood really resonated within me. I have many good memories from this Sorority. I felt like I was doing something good on campus. We participated in and organized philanthropy activities. We got to know other Fraternities and Sororities in a non-party way. We had high standards, we loved each other and we were classy.


However, I became depressed. 

School wasn't going too well. I started skipping classes and spending days in bed. My roommate had no idea this was happening because she was away on a trip. 

I stopped going to Chapter. Chapter is the weekly meeting you have with your sisterhood to discuss official business. I did not attend and got fined 10$ each time. I also lost financial aid because I didn't give a payment on time.

So much for sisterhood, right?

I can't say that no one reached out to see if I was truly okay. One sister asked me a few times. I believe her concern was genuine.

I moved to Montreal and did not transfer Chapters because Montreal didn't have one. I did have to give back my letters (any shirt/sweatshirt with the Sorority's greek letters) and my pin. I understand that I couldn't keep them because I was no longer part of the organization, but those items cost around 300$ all together. 

All I wanted was to be part of a group of women who would be there for each other. 

Guess that didn't happen...

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My experience taught me that Sororities aren't for everyone. I just didn't fit in. I tried so hard to, but turns out it wasn't for me. During my most painful moments, when I needed my sisters, I was ignored. I don't think any of it was done on purpose. Maybe, they never had a sister with a mental illness. 

I kept contact with one sister. She helped me a lot through hard times. When I talked to her again, after all this debacle, she apologized for how things ended. She also apologized that I was treated unfairly. 


4 comments

  1. I admire and appreciate your transparency with your thoughts and feelings as you go through these experiences. Your stories empower others to share theirs. I look forward to your next post.

    Erin || Coffee Meets Polished

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    1. Thank you Erin. I appreciate your words and they give me courage to share more, albeit having experiences some embarrassing moments because of my manic episodes. Next post coming soon!

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  2. I stayed in my sorority for three years but I can honestly say that the organization valued sisterhood more than the girls did. I believe so much in the mission statement and values of my organization but the girls (especially the ones with leadership roles) seemed to only value the sisterhood with the women they were friends with. Sisterhood should be about being a part of something bigger than ourselves and our cliques. Sisterhood isn’t showing kindnesses and friendship to your bff, it’s about showing kindness and friendship to the girl that you see in class but have never talked to before. I’m so sorry you had this experience, and I know how frustrating it can be (from personal experience) but I’ve decided that instead of affiliating with my sorority post-grad I want to make an effort to show sisterhood to all of the women I encounter. The letters aren’t as important to me anymore, but showing other women that they are important is.

    I’ll be looking out for your next post!

    xx Kelsi ☕️��

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    1. Thank you Kelsi! It was the same in my sorority. Those in the leadership role were in the same clique and viewed me differently. My big, unfortunately, did not advocate for me (bigs were chose by a chairperson). It was hard because there’s so much potential and yet...

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